


In another perfect life

by Queenofthebees



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, F/M, Jon Arryn didn't die, Jon didn't go to The Wall, Ned tells the truth, Pre-Canon, Robert didn't come to Winterfell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-07 00:19:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14068779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenofthebees/pseuds/Queenofthebees
Summary: For Amy's submitted Tumblr prompt: Ned comes clean to cat and the rest of the family about Jon's true parentage and notice that things have changed between Jon and Sansa now that the truth is known.





	In another perfect life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Amymel86](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amymel86/gifts).



> Sorry hun, you're getting angst lol  
> I might continue this ... when I maybe have like 4 WIPs instead of 14 (so probably never :p). But for now, it is a stand alone.  
> Also went with the crack theory (secret guilty pleasure theory) that Jon had a crush on Sansa prior to Robert's visit in canon.

“What do you mean, Jon is not your son?” Catelyn hissed as she leaned forward in her chair. Ned cast a worried glance to the door before looking back at his wife, his knuckled pressed against the wood of his desk.

“I lied,” he murmured, running a hand across his face as though that could wash away his shame of such an act. He had done it for Lyanna and he would have done so again. He just wished he had known Catelyn then, to know that he could have trusted her with such a secret. “I’m sorry Cat. For all the pain and humiliation you have endured, I know I can never make it up to you.”

“You let me think that you had betrayed me,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper as she choked on her words.

“I know,” he replied, his face twisting at the sight of her upset, knowing he had caused it. “I am so, so sorry my love.”

“Who is he then? If not your son?” she demanded, ignoring his words as she stared at him coolly.

“Lyanna’s boy,” he sighed, turning his face away. “And Rhaegar’s.”

He sighed again as he went to his knees before her. She inhaled sharply, her eyes lowering away from him and he hated how it reminded him of how hurt she had been when he first brought Jon home.

“She made me promise,” he continued softly. “I don’t know if Robert would still kill him or not. But Cat, please understand that we didn’t know each other.”

“I need to be alone for a while,” she responded, pushing his hand away and leaving the room.

Ned sighed, his hands gripping the arms of the chair tightly, wishing that he could summon her back and make it all okay again.

And, he thought solemnly, he doubted Jon’s reaction would be much better.

***

He wondered if he had done the right thing when it just seemed to be worse than before.

Not only was Catelyn still hurt and avoiding him but Jon hadn’t left his room, not eaten since he had revealed the truth.

Robb and Arya had tried to get him to come out when his own attempts had failed. But even they hadn’t been able to coax him from his chambers.

He had contemplated dragging Jon from his room and into the hall where he could make sure he ate properly. But he was not Jon’s father, Jon was probably not going to appreciate the gesture from a man who had lied to him.

Eventually, Jon did emerge from his chambers but he still talked little.

As the days turned to weeks, Catelyn eventually warmed to him again. She let him back in her bed and accepted his embraces and kisses once more. She warned him that she may still never love Jon as she did her own children but she had promised to be kinder to him and Ned supposed that was more than he could ever have hoped for.

And Ned thought that perhaps things would go back to normal between his family members. Jon had started sparring with Robb again, helping Bran with his archery and playing with Rickon as well as riding with Arya.

He was confident that the bond between Jon and his siblings, _cousins_ , had been restored. It was as if nothing had changed and he thanked the Gods for how the weight felt lifted from his shoulders.

He spotted Sansa at the side of the training yard. Although she did occasionally appear to watch and cheer on Robb, she was usually accompanied by Jeyne Poole, her septa or Catelyn. But she was alone.

She was twiddling a blue rose between her fingers and Ned inhaled sharply at the memory of Lyanna that came forth. She always smelt as sweet as them wherever she went and it was no surprise considering how she would always have one or six. Whether a crown in her hair or a bunch in her hand, Lyanna always had her favourite flower. And she had even had them on that day, the smell of them in that room as she lay dying.

Ned shook his head to disperse the memories. And for a moment, as he came back into focus, he thought he saw Jon and Sansa share a glance. But when he looked between them once again, Sansa was watching Robb as usual.

***

Jon and Sansa had started spending more time together, Ned noticed.

He was glad of it, having always wanted every one of his children to be close with one another. He liked to think that telling the truth had allowed Sansa to become closer to Jon without feeling as though she were betraying her mother’s wishes.

But then, Ned started to notice the little things. Like how Sansa would blush when Jon was near, how Jon would always give Sansa half of his lemon cake with a shy smile and how he would see Jon heading for the gardens and later he would see blue roses in Sansa’s hair.

One morning, he had gone into the Godswood to pray but Jon was already there. He scrambled back upon seeing Ned, his eyes wide with fear. Ned barely had time to speak before there was a sound of footsteps behind him and he turned, his brows raising when Sansa appeared in the clearing. She squeaked upon seeing him, her hand clutching at the basket she carried and a fierce blush on her cheeks.

“Father!”

“Sansa, this is a pleasant surprise to see you here,” Ned commented looking between them both with a stern gaze. He knew Sansa identified much more with her mother’s gods although she did pray here too. Still, he suspected it wasn’t the Gods she had came to see and she confirmed as such when she spoke.

“I…I came to see Jon,” she responded, her eyes cutting to the boy behind him. Ned turned his head to look at Jon, who was watching them, frozen in place. “I brought him some lemon cakes.”

“What is going on?” Ned asked them, frowning between them. Jon ducked his head down and Sansa fiddled with the handle of her basket.

“I thought there had been something wrong with me,” Jon mumbled suddenly and Ned whipped around to look at him. “My feelings for Sansa have been plaguing me for a year before you told me the truth and the relief I felt at knowing she was my cousin, that was what shamed me more and drove me to my rooms. Not the fact that I was Rhaegar’s son, but that I immediately thought of how the one good thing that came from it was that I could love Sansa.”

Ned sighed, bridging his nose as he clenched his eyes shut. If Jon had been raised as a prince, Ned would happily give Sansa’s hand to him. Jon was kind and sweet, he would treat any wife of his well, Ned knew that. If Jon had been raised anywhere else…

“You cannot carry on,” he stated firmly, hating how Jon’s eyes lowered and Sansa’s lip trembled. “You are cousins, that is true. But the truth can never be known outside these walls. To the rest of the world, you are brother and sister and for the safety of you both, it must remain so. Do I make myself clear?”

Neither of them said anything, their gazes fixed on the ground. Ned squeezed his eyes shut again, his breath escaping in a harsh pant. Why did he always have to hurt those he loved? What would he give for a world where Jon’s parentage wouldn’t mean his life was in danger, where he and Sansa could be together.

“Sansa, when you’re older, I’ll make a good match for you. Someone…”

“No!” Sansa snarled before breaking into such hard sobs that Ned felt it in his own chest. “I won’t ever marry anyone but Jon. I want him. I love him.”

“Sansa,” he whispered, reaching for her but she turned from him, her skirts whirling around her as she fled the Godswood.

Jon rose, silent and sullen and Ned wanted nothing more than to tell him how much he hated what he was doing but that surely, Jon’s life and that of Sansa’s was more important. If Sansa was ever found to have been involved with Jon…not even he could protect her from the riots that would happen from those who wanted all Targaryens gone from the world.

But he said nothing, instead allowing Jon to leave.

In the morning, there was chaos when both Jon and Sansa’s beds were found empty, save for a blue rose on Sansa’s pillow.


End file.
